xvii

just got back from berkeley and one of the conversations i had there involved the balance of the personal spiritual health of a person and his witness to others. this conversation would not have been that significant to me except for what happened that morning.

this morning, i went to church. i haven't been to church for a long time.

i wasn't serving in the nursery today, but i was at church.

i wasn't inside listening to the sermon, but i was at church.

i was outside talking to a young boy who has not been around for awhile and i was at church.

i was watching football and eating a burger with this boy. this was church today.

my friend in berkeley also shared about the sermon she heard today about digging deep into god's word, that there are many layers and we shouldn't just settle for the top layer. again, this would not have been that significant except for that very same morning, i heard the same message, not from my pastor in the sanctuary, but from this young boy, some dirt we were playing with, ants, and an assortment of other bugs after digging deeper.

i've been so distracted recently and as i played my heart out on the keyboards, i thought i could meet god and focus on worshiping him. but that didn't happen until i began to give up everything including my service in the nursery just to wait, listen, and spend time with this young boy.

the line between intimacy with god and sharing god's love to others is often blurred and sometimes not there.